Bali Updates

Family! I have landed in my Bali, my new home. A lot of people have been asking how I'm settling in so I made a video to show you my temporary digs. I'm well taken care of;)

I also took a vegan cooking classes to learn proper Balinese dishes and I'm starting my Bahasar Indonesia (Indonesian Language) studies. One of the first sentences I learned was, "I'm not Indonesian" because all the locals think I am and want to speak Indonesian with me.

The past 5 Months... what it took to get here.

Nothing could have properly prepared me for moving away from the states and to Bali indefinitely. I’ve traveled all over the world, even to its ends to perform SCUBA research in Antarctica. I’ve backpacked Asia on my own for 4 months. I’ve lived in 6 different states and done several cross country road trips to move and for leisure. None of that even compared to the experience of closing out my life in the states.

Since April of this year Kyle and I had made the decision to move to Bali by the end of Summer. To be honest I didn’t realize the state of transition I was in over those 5 months and how activating being in that prolonged state was on my nervous system until I touched down in Bali last week.

Even though I hadn’t physically moved anywhere yet, my mind and heart were already in Bali yet my body and my life was still in the states. I don’t know any other way to explain it other than my feet weren’t touching solid ground and It was almost that experience of having the willies in your tummy when you plunge into a big dip of a roller coaster. It’s anticipatory and it's unsettling and its joyful and exhilarating all at the same time.

I had experiences like this before when I moved across the US but the intensity of it was much higher when the distance between my body and my heart equated to opposite sides of the planet.

This level of being unsettled definitely left me with little reserves or attention span outside of necessities, deeper healing, deeper ceremonies and managing the many logistics of moving. Which also explains why you haven’t heard from me in a minute, looking to change that now and be in more constant communication with y’all;)

On top of this lack of ground under my feet the other thing I wasn’t fully prepared for was the grief and courage required to overcome the natural fears and uncertainty one would expect with a move so big.

The grief really set in about a month before move date when it became more real that our dog, Juanita wouldn’t be in our lives as constantly anymore. Kyle and I decided that it was best for our little 3 lb pup to stay in the states where it is quieter and safer than Bali and less likely runs the risk of her being stolen by monkeys. Lol but really… we are so grateful that we found soul family in Melinda and James who love Juanita as big as we do and who also hold similar energies in their relationship dynamic to each other and to Juanita as Kyle and I do. For Juanita I think its almost as if we haven't left because Melinda and James accurately and deeply channel our love for her through themselves. Thank you James and Melinda, we are eternally grateful for sharing this role of coparenting Juanita with you, we love you so much.

The other thing that opened the floodgates of grief was when I sold my car, my trusted companion that took me on all those North American adventures I had mentioned earlier. My car that was a container for some of the most important conversations of my life with Kyle and also with my dear friend Kade who had both been with me on many adventures. My car that served as my home for 10 months back when I saved up for backpacking Asia and moving to Chicago to be with Kyle. My car that allowed me to embody more freedom, more courage and more adventure as we rubber tramped all over the US and even Baja California Sur.

When I paid off my phone and canceled my plan so I could unlock it and get an Indonesian phone plan, that's when the fear set in and courage became a necessary character trait I had to embody to keep putting one foot in front of the other. This even made the fact that my car was gone even more real. More ties had been cut and less than ever before was tethering me to the states! That entire week I kept saying on repeat, “I can’t believe I sold my car.”

The even more wild thing was that up until a week before move date I still didn’t even know where I was going to stay when I landed in Bali and I still wasn’t completely sure of my role in the Lightforce Center, the business I’m in collaboration with to host retreats and healing experiences with. To be honest this work with them is being created as we go, because what we are building is something that has never been done before.

All I know is that we are on the precipice of something big, something that will have deep ripple effects across this planet and something that will support the planetary shift towards clearer Truth and deeper healing. The other thing I know is that Spirit is calling me to work on my own and with Kyle here in Bali and to be in intimate collaboration with Shayoon and Alexander, the founders of the Lightforce Center. I can feel it in my bones and with all my heart that this is the move for me and where I will play my biggest role in service of the collective, the planet and all sentient and non sentient beings on Earth and beyond.

I see the mission and I see the vision and this is all I need in order to know that I’m doing the right thing and that this is the leap of Faith that is the most perfect for me right here and right now in my journey.

Im grateful for all the resources and loved ones that allowed me to stay present even in the face of deep grief and fear. The resources in my life (my practices, my tools, my home, my food, my doggo, my people) that allowed me to soak up those moments up and be intentional with how I spent my time the last few months I lived in CA. **SHOUT OUT to all the friends, family and medicine people who held me through this transition y'all are some of my most potent sources of love, nourishment and endurance, I love you so much.**

I soaked up every moment that I could with my dog Juanita, so many cuddle fests and beach days with her. I was in ceremony with Kyle and Kade as we said goodbye to my car and watched its new owner leave the driveway with it. I was in ceremony with Kyle, James and Melinda as we transferred dog parenthood into their hands for the foreseeable future. I prayed a lot, I cried a lot, I played music and sang a lot, I intentionally practiced surrender and flow every time I went surfing, I laughed a lot, I escaped into other worlds when I needed to by reading fiction and playing open world video games, I ate food of the highest vibrations and more.

I did my best to enjoy every present moment for what it was without even needing to discern or label my feelings and instead I enjoyed and expressed gratitude for the opportunity to feel, to be messy, to be imperfect, to know love, to know sorrow, to simply experience.

As I move forward in this life, in Bali and beyond, I will continue to live from my values, teach at every opportunity that I have and guide people to transform their traumas so that others can experience the gift of each present moment and of being fully alive too.

I love you all, thank you for being alive and a part of what we all experience here today. Your presence is a gift<3

In love,

Leucas

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P.S. I'm building a group program for Trans people to experience deeper healing, to feel more empowered around their past traumas and to completely release the charge of these traumas from their bodies.

I'm currently interviewing people so I can understand how to build and structure this program in a way that best serves our community. If there are any Trans identifying folx reading this who would like to give me an hour of your time so I can ask you questions around your personal development and wellbeing I would be so grateful for your time! Simply respond to this email to let me know you are interested. Please and thank you<3

P.P.S. I'm almost done writing a fun email series where I formally teach more concepts and practices that can help you to regulate your nervous system, enjoy the present moment and understand how trauma works so you can begin to transform it. If you want to receive this informative and creative series click here to sign up.

My series never involve promotions or sales pitches unless you opt in for them. I'm learning the skill of ethical and consentual marketing and stoked to put it into practice;)

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